Posted in General Posts by Grace Hartmann on 5/9/2012
I've got to say it.
I'm pretty excited.
In a few short days, I will be hopping on a plane to spend my 4th summer in a row in Africa. Although this trip looks completely different than those of the past, I am super thankful to be continuing the tradition of spending three months out of the year there.
In case you didn't know... (which you do, because you read my blog, therefore I assume that you know me.. but then again, maybe not, so I'm going to tell you anyway..)
I LOVE AFRICA.
Absolutely love it. Uganda in particular. It doesn't take more than 5 seconds of meeting me to know it. I never take off my Africa necklace. Chances are I'm likely wearing a t-shirt that either has a picture of the continent on it or benefits a project somewhere (like these awesome clothes: www.147millionorphans.com) And even though I've spent 9 months in Uganda and it definitely has the biggest piece of my heart, I truly have a heart for the entire continent. My heart beats to an African drum. I'm just as excited to be going to Mozambique as I would be if I was going back to Uganda. (Okay, that's not true. Not even close. But I am excited to spend three months in a different part of Africa.)
I was made to live there.
I'm excited about the months ahead. I'm excited about the mosquito nets and avocados and kids everywhere. I'm excited to brush my teeth with bottled water and maneuver around potholes and drink sugar-cane sweetened coke out of glass bottles. I'm excited to be sweaty and dirty and exhausted and.. Full.
Full of life. Full of joy. Full of the Spirit. Full of.. everything.
My heart feels full when I'm in Africa in a way that is hard to explain. It's almost like God literally placed an Africa-shaped hole in my heart that is only filled when I'm there.
I can't wait. And luckily, I don't have to for much longer. Like Shakira so brilliantly said in her song "Waka Waka" for the World Cup--
IT'S TIME FOR AFRICA!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Posted in General Posts by Grace Hartmann on 5/4/2012
...barely taking off my SmartWool socks for the first two weeks
...sweating the last two weeks (HELLO, season change!)
...living in a church
...living in a church with no heat
...sleeping under 4 blankets every night
...trying to get kids to not to throw rocks at each other
...lots of soup
...good internet access for the first time since I left America!
...eating rooster for the first time (tastes like chicken)
...playing ping pong
...homemade fruit juice
...having conversations that heal my heart, a little at a time
...falling in love with accordian music
...visiting villages
...getting shown the most hospitality I have ever seen
...making lots of new friends
...attempting to hitch hike home
...living across the street from the best bakery in town
...getting my feet washed by a sweet Moldovan sister in our communion service the night before Good Friday
...playing football and watching football games
...not being able to sit on the floor (they think it makes you not able to have children)
...learning to play an improved version of duck duck goose (instead of tapping you, they drop a napkin behind your back, you are allowed to cut through the circle if you jump on one foot, and if you get caught-- you have to sing a song and dance in the middle)
...lots of laughs, tears, and hard conversations
...seeing Moldovans more and more through the eyes of Christ
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Posted in General Posts by Grace Hartmann on 4/16/2012
Not even a month ago I wrote a post about gratitude. About being thankful in all circumstances. Receiving both good and bad as blessings and gifts because I know and trust the Giver of all things.
And not even a month later, I wake up realizing how quickly I have forgotten that lesson. If I'm going to be completely honest, (and I always like to be) the past couple of weeks have involved a lot of heartache for me.
I let go of someone I really love, surrendering a relationship that isn't where I need to be right now to the Lord. I let go of someone who was my best friend and a huge part of my life and that no part of me wanted to let go. My heart is broken and it hurts and I'm sad.
I let go of my team from the past 3 months. A team that I have learned so much from, shared laughs and tears and made memories with, and grown to love deeply. I watched as we were placed on different teams, the season of the Race and our lives where we were all together coming to an end. And it hurt.
And in the midst of my own heartache and sadness, I stopped giving thanks for the hard things. Instead of holding out open hands, ready to receive, I clenched my fists and hardened my heart and stepped back and said, "but not when it hurts like this."
How easily I forget.
But then I open my eyes and my heart just a little, and I realize that choosing not to see it all as blessings is not doing anything for the ache inside. It's not doing anything for the emptiness or sadness or hurt.
So I get on my knees and I thank Him for it all.
For a broken heart, for love lost, for friendships shifted, for team changes, and for ongoing opportunities that allow me to choose thankfulness and joy even when it's hard.
And I pray that next time, I won't forget quite as easily.
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Posted in General Posts by Grace Hartmann on 4/8/2012
...chopping firewood
...the biggest rooster I have ever seen
...cutting down a tree with an ax
...fresh milk every day from our sweet neighbor, Sofia
...holding a 2 day old baby sheep
...a lot of time in prayer
...hot showers (thank you, Jesus!)
...lots of quality time with my friends
...bees EVERYWHERE
...feeding a baby sheep from a bottle
...lighting yards on fire (that's what they do instead of cutting the grass)
...a big, beautiful monastery
...huge bonfires (3, at the same time, to be exact)
...seeing a full pig head for sale in the meat market
...cleaning a chicken coop
...more than 24 hours on a train
...using a chainsaw for the first time
...yummy pastries
...plowing a field, with shovels, by hand
...seeing The Hunger Games in a movie theater
...fully surrendering some big things to the Lord
...eating sheep meat that a friend slaughtered
...exploring the ruins of an old fortress
...milking a cow
...fields full of sheep
...street racing in taxi cabs
...a weekend trip to Budapest
...Dracula's castle
...one season of the Race ending so another can begin-- team changes
...seeing Romanians more and more through the eyes of Christ
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Posted in General Posts by Grace Hartmann on 3/28/2012
and she's really getting on my nerves and there's no more hot water and we're out of food and CAN'T I JUST GET 5 MINUTES TO MYSELF?!
the crackle of a fire and a shooting star and a perfectly timed hug.
and he talks so loudly and i'm tired of sleeping 3 girls to one bed and i don't like eating that and WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I SHOWERED?!
hands that can work and a mug of hot chocolate and a beautiful, old cathedral.
and my tent has holes in it and she's PMSing again and feedback took 5 hours tonight and WHO IS TAKING SO LONG IN THE BATHROOM?!
worship outside in perfect weather and questions that make me think and conversations that hurt but pull me closer to His heart.
Gratitude.
It's a choice. MY choice. When things are bad, when things are good. I can give thanks. I can choose to give thanks for both the beautiful and the ugly because God gave them both.
When children are starving and friends have HIV and people are in slavery and the little boy who has the biggest piece of my heart will have his 4th birthday in an orphanage this week.
When war tears families apart and dreams are shattered and my heart is broken and my dad died too young.
When life is ugly and messy and hard and it hurts.
Because it's in the deserts, in the valleys, in the hard places, and in the pit that we truly realize how helpless we are. How we have control of absolutely nothing. How much we need Him.
I can give thanks for those things too because no matter what, I always have something to be thankful for.
Not just something. The biggest thing.
CHRIST.
In every season, within every circumstance, every day, He still died and rose for me and
THAT IS ALWAYS ENOUGH TO BE THANKFUL FOR.
So I'm making the decision as often as I can. The decision to receive whatever He has in store for me. Whatever He wills for my life. I will trust. I will believe that even the hard things are blessings.
I will receive with open hands and a grateful heart.
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Posted in General Posts by Grace Hartmann on 3/9/2012
...carrying 100 pound bags of cement
...eating mangoes straight off the tree
...drinking coconut milk straight off the tree
...eating fresh coconut off the tree (yum)
...swimming to an island
...living in my tent all month
...flat tires, and lots of them
...laundry by hand
...incredible praise and worship where we sing it out in English while our Haitian brothers and sisters sing it out in Creole (such a beautiful sound!)
...living in community with 45 other people
...the beach as my backyard
...too many dogs
...breakfast at 630 every morning
...learning some Creole
...lots of vulnerable and transparent conversations
...walking through trash everywhere
...brushing up on my first-aid skills
...seriously considering getting dreads
...lots of rice and beans
...finding and holding several starfish
...getting proposed to by one of the guys on the construction site (2 for 2 on countries now!)
...falling asleep every night to the sound of crashing ocean waves
...a friend getting hit on the head by a falling mango
...pouring buckets of concrete until 1030PM
...700ish fire ants invading my tent
...time to read
...cold bottles of Coke from my favorite Haitian
...my tent flooding horribly and soaking everything inside
...sleeping in a hammock next to the ocean
...lots of mosquitos
...new friends
...the Lord stretching me and teaching me things I wasn't expecting and in ways I wasn't expecting
...seeing Haitians more and more through the eyes of Christ
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Posted in General Posts by Grace Hartmann on 2/25/2012
The other day our team helped MaryEve, the cook here, make lunch. She assigned me the task of sorting the beans and set a big bag of bright green, brown, and white beans in front of me. She showed me how to pick up a handful and take out the impurities and bad ones. Slowly and methodically, I did the best I could to sift through enough beans to feed fifty people, annoyed at the thought of not getting every rotten one out.
After they were sifted once, we poured them into a pot of cool water. Again, she showed me how to sort and give them the final cleansing. She stuck her hands into the pot, rubbed a handful of the beans vigorously together, shook them all around, and took her hands out. Quickly more impurities and bad beans floated to the top and she grabbed them and threw them out. I spent the next several minutes doing the same.
Sifting through them, I began to think about how similar our lives are to this process. We sort through our lives, picking out impurities as we go. We do the best we can the first time, but some things slide through unnoticed. It is not until we are made uncomfortable-- shaken up and rubbed vigorously, that the impurities become more noticeable.
That is so much of what my life is about right now. I've been committed to following Jesus for several years now, so I feel that He has done a lot of the initial sorting. But the process is far from over. I am now in the pot. Being shaken up, stretched beyond my limits, and uncomfortable in order that He can continue to separate me from my flesh. I am in the pot of circumstances I wouldn't choose, with people I wouldn't choose, and serving in ways that I wouldn't choose. But He is with me, and He loves me too much to let me stay the way that I am. He loves me enough to continue working in my life, to take away ME so that there can be more of HIM.
And for that, I am forever grateful.
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Posted in General Posts by Grace Hartmann on 2/9/2012
Life this month in the small mountain town of Las Lagunas in the Dominican Republic meant...
...being surrounded by beautiful mountains
...sleeping under a mosquito net
...screaming fits over cockroaches on our beds
...big brown eyes
...a ridiculously squeaky door
...having two sets of grandparents that take really good care of us
...sweet, delicious mini cups of coffee (almost) every day
...no sense of personal space from the locals
...bucket showers and a squatty potty
...worshipping really loudly and completely off key, with anyone on the microphone
...having a bonfire in the middle of the street and dancing with the kiddos
...teaching the kids eskimo kisses, which we call "besitos"
...horseback riding around town with some local guys
...almost getting bucked off of said horse (mine was like 7 feet tall too) several times
...laying awake at night listening to a mouse chew through our crackers
...going to a revival for the first time
...eating enough pork to last me the rest of my life
...dance parties at night with abuelo watching and sometimes dancing with us as well
...falling in front of a ton of kids and getting a bloody knee
...making a ton of new friends
...a huge language barrier
...really loud roosters... and dogs... and motorcycles... and donkeys... and music... and people
...riding in the back of a small pickup with 17 other people
...being proposed to by a police officer
...no electricity most of the time
...learning how to dance the baicharta
...ten kids crawling all over you at once (this must be universal)
...always being invited into stranger's houses
...abuela #1 bringing me coffee as I watch the sunrise and spend time with the Lord
...38 bug bites at one time-- from the knees down
...hearing "I love you, baby" from random guys
...chicken feet cooked and in the bowl with the rest of the chicken
...a crazy mountainous truck ride with a loco driver when we all thought we were going to die, followed by a strenuous 2 hour one-way walk to a waterfall when I definitely thought I was going to die.. So basically hiking almost 10 miles in one day
...giving a piece of my heart to so many of the people here
...seeing Dominicans more and more through the eyes of Christ
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Posted in General Posts by Grace Hartmann on 2/3/2012
I walk into a class of high school students in the small mountain town where I am living and make my way to the front of the classroom.
I look around at more than thirty expectant faces, eager to soak in any and everything that I say.
But I do not know what to say to them. I am not an English teacher. I am not a Spanish speaker. I am not equipped or prepared for this. I am not a lot of things.
Oh, but what I AM far outweighs what I am not.
I am His daughter, His princess. I am flawed, yet made perfect through His blood. I am a sinner redeemed into a saint. I am His friend. His chosen. And I am His servant.
So because they have asked this of me, I stand in front of curious eyes. I stand in front of hearts and minds that have been corrupted and jaded by a culture that does not value or respect women. A culture that is hyper-sexualized. A culture that desperately needs to see His joy and His love.
And I start to laugh. A lot. I laugh because I am overwhelmed and a little uncomfortable. I laugh because I love the challenge. I laugh because it is more than comical to use what broken Spanish I know to teach them a little bit of English. "You are so happy!" they say in Spanish. One student who has seen me frequently around town speaks up, "You are ALWAYS so happy!"
That's when it hits me. It doesn't matter if I leave the classroom having taught them 2 words or 200, they have seen my joy. Joy that only comes from knowing Jesus and being exactly where He has asked me to be. Joy that can stir hearts to want to know why I am this way. Joy that, I pray, is contagious.
So we laugh together. We laugh at my horrible pictures, my obviously small Spanish vocabulary, and the dances I try to teach them to pick up on a few words. They teach me a few words, I teach them a few words, and we laugh. They leave class with a brighter smile than before.
And I feel that my prayer is being answered: the joy is contagious.
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Posted in General Posts by Grace Hartmann on 1/21/2012
What comes to mind when you hear the words "joyful noise"? Or better yet, when was the last time YOU made a joyful noise for the Lord?
The psalms are full of people making joyful noises for the Lord. People's hearts are so full of thanksgiving and love that their natural response is to pour out praises to their Creator.
"I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." -Psalm 9:2
"I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me." -Psalm 13:6
"Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation." -Psalm 96:2
"Make a joyful noise for the Lord, all the eart, burst into jubilant song with music." -Psalm 98:4
You see my point.
Are you so full of adoration and gratefulness to God and the many ways that He has blessed you that you can't help but to whole-heartedly express that to Him?
People here are. It doesn't matter how off beat you are or whether or not you are on pitch. You are making a joyful noise for the LORD and no one else. You can walk up to the front of the stage, take the microphone, and belt it out with your eyes closed. No one cares. You have words for the Lord and people respect that. The kids play the instruments. They start singing in the middle of their prayers. Song after song after song pour from their lips.
I want to praise like this. I want to worship like this. I want to be so full of joy, thankfulness, and His Presence that joyful noise pours from my mouth without hesitation.
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